Hardcore

I did my first open-mic reading on Sunday, at an Irish pub, this got max love:

YOU KNOW THE SCORE

I was never as hardcore as you

Your behaviour was totally new

Never seen in London before

It sounded so cool as you violently swore

I was never as hardcore as you

The night we broke into the zoo

You took the crown from the lion’s head

Whilst I found the horsebox and went to bed

I was never as hardcore as you

Your lack of sleep I could not do

You rode shotgun ahead racing the fast lane

Taunting the keys you stole for my jetplane

I was never as hardcore as you

Winehouse n Keith Richards could not continue

As dawn rose, we could only raise beers

Our heavy lids saw you swing high from chandeliers

I was never as hardcore as you

I was like a flunky, riding your bugaloo

The police pressed charges but not to me

You took the sentence and I paid the fee

I was never as hardcore as you

Your infamy base a sleazy who’s who

Your biggest fear ending up like me

An unknown face, softcore, no joie de vie

I was never as hardcore as you

I tried to keep up but my face went blue

You tied me up, took drugs upstairs

I lay there in my underwear

I first read this at an Irish open mic last Sunday:

I was never as hardcore as you

But carpe diem is your only cue

And now I’ve accepted my hardcore fate

I’ll always be a complete lightweight